


words are all i know

by burnedbefore



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Fluff, and chrissy for a quick sec, and doc, but like at the end, dolls is mentioned, like once...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-15
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24204508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burnedbefore/pseuds/burnedbefore
Summary: “Waverly, wait.” Nicole croaked, watching helplessly as the brunette grabbed her things and made her way to the door.“Don’t follow me.”or the one where waverly doesn't find the test results until after wynonna's baby shower
Relationships: Waverly Earp & Nicole Haught, Waverly Earp & Wynonna Earp, Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught
Comments: 2
Kudos: 99





	words are all i know

The results came in on a Tuesday. 

They somehow ended up on her desk, sitting there on the corner waiting. She hadn’t even noticed the orange envelope until all the paper work she received from Lonnie was checked over and approved. 

She also doesn’t remember opening it. 

The words stared back at her in small thin letters, daring her to do anything. To say anything. They were almost taunting her in a way. In a way that wasn’t even fair because this wasn’t about her. This was about Waverly and this paper that will probably change her life and how she views herself and the _curse-_

Then as quick as she opened it, the envelope was shoved into her purse, zipped closed without a second thought. 

_Waverly_. _Waverly Earp. Waverly wasn’t an-_

‘No.’ She thought, shaking her head to herself. ‘She is. She’s the Earpiest Earp of them all.’ 

“You alright there?” Nedley asked, appearing in the doorway of his office with furrowed eyebrows. 

With a forced smile, she nodded furiously. 

“Yep. I just need to get home.” She rushed out, earning a look of concern from Nedley. “It’s been a long day.” 

_I need to find and tell Waverly. No, I need to give her those papers and-_

“Go home, Haught.” 

“Yes, sir.” She breathed, scrambling for her things. 

She doesn’t tell Waverly. 

______ 

“I sent in a sample.” Waverly breathed with a small smile, fingers nervously scratching the pole stick in her hands. 

Nicole felt the color drain from her face, tongue swelling with words she so desperately wanted to spill. The heavy guilt that has built in her chest was weighing her down. She couldn’t take it anymore and Waverly had to know. It was her right to know. 

But the shy, yet hopeful look on Waverly’s face stops her. How could she be the one to stop that beautiful smile from forming? Or that bright twinkle in her eye? 

Choking back her words, Nicole swallowed hard and pushed herself off of the pool table. Hands taking the stick and lining it up with cue ball. 

“I haven’t seen anything.” 

_Liar._

Waverly shrugged, her mouth moving but Nicole can’t hear her words, or her own. Yet, she finds herself responding, somehow following the conservation perfectly. Suddenly Waverly is closer than she was before, pulling Nicole’s hands towards her with a coy smile. 

“Why don’t you distract me?” 

“Oh.” 

Rosita interrupts them. 

______ 

“Never have I ever...” Rosita sways side to side before settling her elbows on the bar in front of her. “...swam naked in the ocean. Waverly?” 

She lets out a sigh, Nicole eyebrows furrow. 

“I’ve never even seen the ocean.” 

_I’ll take you. I’ll take you anywhere you want as long as you want me by your side-_

“Neither have I.” The bartender admits and huffs, pouting slightly. 

“You girls need to get out more!” Nicole finds herself chuckling. Her fingers tracing the outside of an empty shot glass. What was this? Shot number four or five? 

Suddenly the idea of Pictionary (and placenta?) comes up. 

Nicole is less than interested in the game, but Waverly wants to. 

So naturally, Nicole does too. 

Then Rosita leaves to go find some paper, throwing a request for ‘ _Waves’_ to grab a pen. 

“Waves...” Nicole repeats quietly, looking off to the side of the bar. There’s a distant look in her eye at the nickname she held near and dear to her heart to be just thrown around for anyone to use. 

Waverly puts down her shot glass, wincing as the alcohol slides down her throat before speaking. 

“Rosie’s so much fun.” 

_Rosie?_

As she continues to talk, Waverly sways too far and almost slips off her barstool. A startled ‘woah!’ leaving her lips before Nicole steadies her, repeating the same word. 

Waverly reaches down to grab her purse, hands catching it as she tugs it up on the bar and starts to unzip it. 

_Shit. No. Not yet._

“Oh, um,” Nicole grabs her purse quickly, zipping it closed and quickly grabbing the other one on the floor, “this one is yours. I can guarantee that I do not have pens in there.” 

A small giggle comes from the smaller girl, before she grabs her own and digs for a pen Rosita requested. Nicole lets out a sigh of relief as she pulls her own purse into her lap, hiding it from site. 

_Too close. That was too close-_

“I got the paper!” Rosita sings happily, practically skipping back to the bar where the two others sat. 

Nicole offers a weak grin. 

______ 

Nicole watches as Waverly stumbles through the door, barely missing the table by the entryway. A sharp laugh ring through the air, bringing a smile to Nicole’s face. 

“Come on.” Nicole murmurs, hands wrapping lightly around the smaller girl’s waist. She gently pushed her backwards to the bedroom. “Let’s get you in bed. Okay?” 

Waverly smiled sleepily, nodding before leaning all her weight forward for Nicole to catch. 

“You’re a good person.” She muttered, into Nicole’s jacket collar, nuzzling slightly. “Thank you for being you.” 

Nicole’s stomach drops. 

______ 

She finds herself back at the station, listening in to whatever Jeremy is trying to explain to the group without confusing anyone. Various questions from Wynonna break the tension building in the room, which results in Doc storming out of the room and her following straight after. 

Warm hands slide down her arms, rubbing up and down slowly. Her eyes meet bright hazel ones and her heart immediately warms. 

“Hey.” She murmurs softly, earning a grin from Waverly. 

“Hi.” Waverly bites her lips, looking behind her then at Nicole. “Did they come in yet?” 

The smile drops from Nicole’s face for a split second before forming into a forced apologetic grimace. 

“No. I, uh, haven’t seen anything, Waves.” 

“I should have used a better trusted company. I thought I did enough research to trust this one.” The brunette lets out a soft groan of annoyance, dropping her head forward in defeat. 

Nicole sighs, a hand come up to brush a piece of hair behind the brunette’s ear. 

“Just give it time, baby. Okay?” 

Waverly smiled softly, lifting her head to look properly at Nicole. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” 

A pang of guilt coursed through her veins, sending small shocks through her fingertips. 

_You deserve better. Someone better than me._

________

“Haughtstuff!” 

Nicole barely had time to look up before two leather clad boots landed on her desk, right next to the unfinished paper work. 

“Wynonna.” Nicole scolded, moving the papers aside and away from the dirt falling on her desk. “What are you doing?” 

Wynonna blinked at her blankly. 

“I work here.” 

Nicole sighed, shaking her head. 

“No, I meant what are you doing _here._ With your boots on my desk?” She hisses, shoving her feet off, resulting in a loud _thud._

“Wow, I thought we were really bonding, Deputy Tater-Haught.” Feigning a gasp behind her hand, Wynonna collapsed into a dead weight in the chair. 

Nicole rolled her eyes. Crossing her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyes at the older Earp sister. “What do you want, Wynonna?” 

“Geez, do I need to have a reason to spend time with my favorite deputy?” She leaned forward on her elbows. 

Nicole raised her eyebrows. 

“Ugh, fine. We need to talk.” 

______ 

_“Do you think I pulled Waverly too close?”_

_“You know, I think that Waverly has spent her whole life, tailoring who is to the people she’s with. She’s only now just starting to figure out what she really wants.”_

________

“So,” Nicole started, fingers running through long wavy hair, “Wynonna knows, huh?” 

Waverly tenses under her fingers before relaxing again. She nods weakly against Nicole’s shoulder. 

“She wanted to know why I was being a ‘wet towel that was left in a church by an estranged nun’.” Waverly quoted with her fingers. “Whatever that means.” 

Nicole chuckled, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss against her temple. 

“I mean, you were a little snappy-” Her words cut off by a sharp hit to the shoulder and a pouting Waverly. 

“I was not.” 

Nicole laughed, pulling the brunette closer to her. 

“No, no you weren’t.” 

_But you will be with me soon._

______ 

She knew she had to tell Waverly at some point. 

She couldn’t keep it away from her any longer. Sooner or later Nicole will have to get it over with. 

_Rip it off like a_ _band aid_ _, Haught._

Her heart weighed down every time she thought of the envelope hidden in her purse. The guilt was unbearable and pushing the air out of her lungs. Pretty soon, she won’t be able to breathe. 

That’s how she found herself grabbing her keys and coat, frantically moving through her house with one thing on her mind. 

_I_ _have_ _to tell Waverly._

Her hand gripped the door knob, eyes cast downward as she fumbled with her keys. Suddenly, she was pushed back by an unsuspected forced as the door opened. 

“What the hell!” She yelled, rubbing her shin that hit the small table behind her. 

“Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking too.” Waverly deadpanned. 

_Well, shit. That’s exactly like a_ _band aid_ _._

______ 

Her hands were shaking in front of her. Eyes cast downward on the floor as the occasional crinkle of paper echoed through the room following a low sniffle. Nicole’s heart broke as she watched tears fall down Waverly’s pale cheeks and down her chin. 

“Waverly.” Nicole whispered, twisting her hands in her lap. 

The brunette folded the papers back into their original shape before stuffing them back in the envelope. Her wet eyes lingering on the address on the front. 

“You told me they hadn’t arrived yet.” Waverly choked out. “Why would you keep this from me? 

“Because I love you.” 

The words came out of Nicole’s mouth before she could stop them. God, she’s been wanting to say that since the whole Waverly-was-possessed-so-sorry-I-didn't-tell-you thing. They’ve been simmering in her stomach before finally bubbling over from the heat. 

“Are you serious right now?” Waverly spitted out, taking quick steps back, away from Nicole. 

_Please don’t leave._

“Because I was trying to protect you.” 

“Or control me.” 

_No. That’s not what I was trying to do. I was trying to save you from the pain you’re feeling right now. I was looking out for you. I’ll always look out for you._

“I don’t need you making decisions for me.” 

_I’m sorry. I’m so sorry._

“I’m not a child, Nicole.” 

_I know. God, I know, Waves._

“And apparently I’m not an Earp either.” 

“Waverly, wait.” Nicole croaked, watching helplessly as the brunette grabbed her things and made her way to the door. 

“Don’t follow me.” 

______ 

Two days later, Wynonna shows up on her doorstep. 

Everything happens in a blur. 

She thinks she gets pushed back into a wall and thinks Wynonna yells, _no_ , _spits_ any kind of creative obscenity she can at her. 

She also thinks that Wynonna is the reason her left cheek is sore. 

______ 

_“Hi, this is Waverly. Leave a message.”_

_“Waves. I’m, um, I’m so sorry. Please call me back so we can talk about this._

_Bye.”_

________

_“Hi, this is Waverly. Leave a message.”_

_“Listen, I never should_ _have_ _opened that envelope._

_I’ve been so caught up in that case, but, um, that’s no excuse. I know._

_Waves, I’m so sorry._

_Please. Please can you just call me back?_

_I love you. Okay, bye.”_

________

_“Hi, this is Waverly. Leave a message.”_

_“Hey, um, it’s me again. Look, Waverly, I, um, I love you._

_You are so important to me and I was stupid and I made a huge mistake._

_Please just call me back, okay? Bye.”_

________

_To: Nicole_

_8:38 P.M_

_‘Dear Control Freak,_

_I will talk to you when I want to_

_talk to you. Until then, have a nice life_

_hurting the people, you love.’_

________

The alcohol doesn’t sting anymore. 

The brown liquid slides down her throat with ease as she empties another bottle. Its lost its taste, taking away the enjoyment of the drink as well as her happiness. Slipping through her fingers, she lets it drop with a soft thud on the floor below her. Her head lolls to the side on the edge of her coach, almost hanging off. 

Nicole barely spots her phone near the wall. A huge crack presenting itself proudly on the screen from when she threw the offending object in a fit of emotions. She’ll have to get a new one for work and for Wave- 

“Nicole.” 

“Baby?” She breathes out, scrambling to sit upright on the couch. Her vision is blurry and the world is tilting even more on its axis as the alcohol in her system sloshes around in her stomach. 

“Sorry to burst your bubble there, Haughtstuff.” A short snort causes the redhead to wince at the noise. 

“’Nonna?” She slurs, leaning forward dangerously before strong hands hold her up. 

“Jesus.” Wynonna curses. “How ‘bout you leave the drinking to me, huh?” 

Nicole shakes her head, but ends up twisting her whole upper body in protest. 

“Uh-uh,” she mumbles, leaning her head on one of Wynonna’s hands, “I need to do this.” 

“What?” Wynonna scoffs, pushing the deputy back to lean on the couch, squatting down in from of her. “Get alcohol poisoning? You won’t do any arresting in the ground, Haught.” 

“I need to get it out of my system.” 

“Get what out of your system?” 

“Not being able to breathe.” 

______ 

“You need to talk to her.” 

Waverly huffed, pushing her sweet and sour soup around in her bowl. 

“Baby girl.” Wynonna snapped, taking the bowl in her hands and putting it on the counter behind her. 

“Hey! I wasn’t done with that! You can’t just-” 

“Can it.” Her older sister hisses, sitting down sharply in her chair. “You have been miserable since those stupid DNA tests-” 

“I’m not an-” 

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence, baby girl.” Wynonna said, her hand had landed on her sister’s mouth, cutting the sentence that was coming out of her mouth. “Now, can I remove my hand?” 

Waverly nodded. 

Slowly, Wynonna removed her hand, staring at her little sister pointedly. 

“Now as I was saying before you rudely interrupted me.” Wynonna cleared her throat. “You need to talk to Nicole.” 

“I am not talking to her, not when she’s trying to make decisions for me and-” 

“Okay!” Wynonna yelled, throwing her hands in the air. “I’m pissed at Haught-to-trot too, okay? She did not have the right at all to hide that from you because that was your important moment. But Waves, I broke into her house and full disclosure: she’s a mess.” 

Waverly closed her eyes briefly, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Is she okay?” 

“Baby girl, you need to get over there.” 

______ 

Nicole winced at the sight of herself in the mirror. She couldn’t remember the last time it was this, _this_ bad. Unwashed hair sticking in every direction, dry lips that were cracking from the amount of alcohol she consumed, and dark bags pillowing her eyes. 

_No,_ she corrects herself, _the last time was when I decided to become a cop_. 

She splashed cold water on her face, eyes closed as a chill traveled down her spine. Her hands found both sides of the sink and gripped the dull porcelain until her knuckles were white. A sudden ache in her jaw caused her eyes to pop open to realize how tense she was. 

A sudden knock on the door stopped her from staring at the mirror, head turned in confusion towards the sound. Nicole waited in the bathroom as her heart twisted painfully at the slight thought of Waverly at her house. As more minutes passed, the brightness in her eyes started to dim once more before another knock echoed through the house with a small ‘Nicole!’ to follow. 

The Deputy scrambled out of the bathroom, desperate to open the door, her shoulder was slammed into the door frame in her haste. She carried her feet as fast as she could, tripping over her rug, and almost falling face the slippery hard wood by the front door. Nicole’s hand gripped the handle and practically ripped the door open with her sore shoulder. 

“Waverly?” She asked, her voice bubbling over with hope. 

As the door hit the wall, Nicole’s breath caught in her throat. Long brown waves cascading down slim shoulders faced her as the other side was turned away towards the sinking sun. She watched as the soft waves swung back and forth as the body turned, revealing soft hazel eyes. 

“Waves.” Nicole breathed, her breath crystalizing into a small cloud of white before dissipating. 

The hazel eyes hardened at the sound of Nicole’s voice, turning cold and darkening the slightest bit. 

Nicole gulped. 

“You look awful.” Waverly muttered, eyes roaming over the tall figure in front of her. 

“Yeah, I, uh, I know.” Nicole responded, sheepishly patting down her hair in embarrassment. 

Waverly stared blankly for a moment. Her jaw clenched and shoulders tense before drooping slightly and her eyes softened. 

“Can I come in?” She mumbled, suddenly shy and toeing the porch beneath her. 

That seemed to get Nicole moving into action. She tripped over her words, desperately grabbing for the door knob. 

“Yes, of course, please. I, uh, it’s not, not the best shape the house has been in.” Nicole rubbed the back of her neck nervously. 

“That’s okay.” 

______ 

Having Waverly sitting in her kitchen was something Nicole was not used to. As she watched the petite brunette look around awkwardly and pick at the flower petals set on the table, the Deputy decided that she _definitely_ not used to it. 

Her hands gripped two glasses of water and softly set them down on the table, clearing her throat awkwardly. Nicole had run upstairs to change out of her old clothes to put something clean on. 

With a deep sigh, the Deputy leaned forward and placed her elbows on her knees. “Listen. I am so, so sorry. I should have never even touched that envelope and kept it from you. I made a mistake and I regret it. I regret it so much, Waverly.” 

_Please don’t leave._

Waverly glared at her. “You look awful.” 

“You said that already, Waves.” Nicole chuckled weakly, running a hand through her almost-tamed hair. 

“Because you do. You look like you’ve been hit by Wynonna’s bike and then went drinking with her after.” 

Silence followed after, filling the kitchen with the unspoken tension between the two. Waverly’s glare softened and moved down to the damage on the officer’s body of the past week. 

“I was so mad.” Waverly whispered, staring at the flowers. “I am still mad because that was my choice, not yours. And the fact that you even opened it-” 

“I know.” 

“That wasn’t your call or right. I’m the one whose life it affects the most.” Her voice trailed off causing Nicole to look up and meet her eyes. A far off look glazed over hazel eyes. Waverly took a deep breath, resting her hands on the table. “Wynonna said she visited you.” 

Nicole’s throat was suddenly dry. “She, uh, yeah, she did.” 

_Which time? The time she hit me or the time she took away my alcohol?_

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.” Waverly’s voice cracked in defeat. 

A surge of energy rushed through the redhead. Quickly, grabbing Waverly’s hands softly, she shook her head repeatedly. 

“No. No, no, no.” She rushed out. “You have no reason to be sorry. I’m the one who screwed up, okay? I just really thought I was doing the right thing. But I messed everything up, and I’m so sorry, Waves.” 

_Please don’t leave._

The brunette’s breathing picked up pace as words flowed from her mouth, unable to stop. “But if I hadn’t acted the way I did, you wouldn’t be like this, Nicole. You would be going on with your life and not worry about me and start to move on and achieve better things then having to deal with my emotions and-” 

“Woah.” Nicole whispered, squeezing Waverly’s hands before sinking to the floor on her knees in front of her. “Listen to me, Waverly Earp. I have never loved anyone, the way that I love you. And I’m sure as hell not moving on.” 

_Where you go, I go._

Waverly ducked her head down, eyes closed tightly as tears threatened to leak through. Nicole smiled softly. A slender hand coming down to the brunette’s chin and lifting gently. 

“Not without you by my side.” She finished quietly. 

_And as long as you want me, I will be by your side._

A breathy giggle escaped from Waverly’s lips. The tears finally plummeting down her tan skin and reaching the Deputy’s hand. The two stayed there, resting in each other’s presence and comfort. Nicole’s heart pounded loudly in her ears as she tried to keep her fingers from moving from under Waverly’s chin, tensing ever so slightly. 

Warm hands moved it away from her face, instead holding it close to her heart and resting her head on top. 

“I forgive you.” Waverly breathed, kissing the knuckles softly. 

It was like a breath of fresh air was breathed into her body, instantly calming her. A weak grin stretched her cracked lips and her head tilted to the side. 

“Yeah?” 

Another adorable giggle. 

“Yeah.” 

______ 

Pressed against Waverly is where Nicole knows she belongs. An arm slung over a small waist and clutching tightly against her own body. The calming sound of slow breathing lulling Nicole to sleep with a smile on her face. 

“ _Nicole?”_

_“Yes, love?”_

_“I, um, I wanted to tell you that I-I really, um- I really lo-”_

_“I know, baby. It’s okay.”_

_I love you._ Nicole thinks to herself. _More than you’ll ever know._

________

“Baby!” 

Nicole turned to see Waverly practically running into the police station with a coffee tray in hand. A grin grew on the Deputy’s face. It’s been only four days since the talk and they started right where they left off. 

“Hi, baby.” Nicole practically cooed, leaning forward on her desk, eagerly to meet Waverly halfway. 

_You are so pretty and I like you so much._

“Your favorite.” Waverly announced, drawing out the words before dropping a quick kiss on the officer’s lips. 

Nicole’s smile grew larger. “Is it my favorite or my actual favorite?” 

Waverly rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why you don’t want people to know your love for hot chocolate.” 

The Deputy paused, her mouth opening to protest before raising her eyebrows. “So, it is my actual favorite?” 

With a dramatic sigh, the brunette plopped down into Nicole’s lap. “Of course, it is, silly.” 

Nicole sighed in relief, taking a huge gulp of the sweet drink as her other hand wrapped around Waverly’s waist. A soft giggle came above her, followed by a warm pair of lips pressing against her forehead. 

“Waverly!” 

Both pairs of eyes looked up to meet the sight of the oldest Earp walking in grumpily with her hands on her hips. Nicole could practically hear the eyeroll. 

“Yes?” Waverly asked, exasperated. 

They watched as Wynonna stopped in her track, eyes darting back and forth at the scene in front of her. “You two made up?” 

Nicole smiled shyly, ducking her head before landing her gaze on the brunette, only to find Waverly already staring back at her with a twinkle in her eye. 

“Ugh, you guys make the Notebook look bleak.” Wynonna groaned, grabbing the last drink off Nicole’s desk and downing half of it. “Do you guys practice those googly eyes in the mirror? Or is it just natural talent?” 

Waverly scoffed lightly, standing up from Nicole’s lap and pushing her sister in the shoulder, provoking a pained ‘Hey!’. The amused Deputy watched as the younger Earp shooed the other one away with sharp eyes. She then turned back to Nicole with a shy smile. 

“I’ll see you tonight?” Waverly murmured, playing with the ends of her loose, flowing hair over her shoulders. Nicole didn’t miss the hesitance in her voice. 

“Yes.” Nicole breathed, pressing a soft kiss to Waverly’s forehead. “Tonight.” 

Waverly beamed as a pretty blush covered her cheeks. Quickly, returning the favor, the brunette spun around, practically skipping her way to the Black Badge office with an adorable little wave. 

______ 

“Good to see you back, Deputy.” 

Nicole turned to see Nedley leaning against his office door frame, a knowing smile playing on his lips. Her cheeks felt warm and throat suddenly dry. 

“Thank you, sir.” She croaked before clearing her throat. 

Nedley stared at her, his eyebrows furrowed in thought. 

“Sir?” 

That seemed to knock him out of his trance. Shaking his head, he pushed off the door frame and stood up taller to look more intimidating. Nicole’s only ever seen it when he’s questioning a suspect or Chrissy comes in with an agenda. 

“You’re a good cop, Nicole.” 

_Oh._

“Thank you, sir.” 

“Don’t you ever forget that.” 

“No, sir.” 

______ 

_To: Waverly_

_4:45 P.M_

_‘Guess who just got_

_the_ _weekend_ _off?’_

_________

_To: Nicole_

_4:46 P.M_

_‘Hopefully my best baby?’_

________

_To: Waverly_

_4:46 P.M_

_‘Damn right._

_I’ll see you in ten.’_

________

_To: Nicole_

_4:47 P.M_

_‘I love you.’_

________

Nicole can’t stop the grin from forming on her lips. 


End file.
